Month: October 2021

Backseat Sleeper

hayleeschierlingLeave a comment
Photo Credit: Matt Duncan (https://unsplash.com/photos/IUY_3DvM__w)
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts;
24 And see if there is any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
-Psalm 139:23-24 NASB

I would consider myself to be a fairly docile passenger when my husband is at the wheel. I try really hard not to be a backseat driver. Now, just for the record, my husband is an excellent driver (bless his heart). However, every once in a while, my life will flash before my eyes and I’ll shove my foot into my imaginary brake pedal, or my left hand will involuntarily thwap him on the chest in a futile attempt to assume control of a seemingly threatening situation.

Ah Control… Control and I have coexisted quite well together. She’s not an ugly sort of problem – she’s definitely cute and socially acceptable enough to fly under the radar. From time to time, she gets a little loud so I casually and quietly grab the chloroform and shove her down a teeny tiny bit deeper. This comfy defense mechanism has ended up becoming an ornamental barnacle on the wall of my subconscious that, for the most part, has gone unsupervised for the majority of my life.

Enter, Jesus.

That guy doesn’t let me get away with anything. Recently, I was encouraged to ask Him a question that I wasn’t entirely prepared to hear an answer for. I asked Him:

Where am I at, Lord?

 (aka “Search me, God, and know my heart; put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there is any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”)  

As I sat attentively with my eyes shut, I saw a picture of God the Father driving the two of us along a winding road. I wish I could say that I saw us cruising carefree, top down, wind in our hair, shades on, sun shining… No. I saw myself tensely flinching and grasping for the wheel whenever I became nervous about where He was taking us. Despite my inability to trust him, the Father allowed me to grab the wheel any time I wanted. One of the most notable aspects of this revelation was the inexhaustible patience of the Father. He never got angry, even when I veered us off course and the road got bumpy. Clearly, he wasn’t taking it personally, and he wasn’t worried about me messing up our trajectory.

Alright, Lord. I see where I am, but where do you want me?

This time, I saw a picture of me sleeping in the back seat. Ironically, it was the same mental picture I’ve carried with me since childhood of my dad, who died in a car accident while sleeping in the backseat without a seatbelt on.

In that moment, Control got a lot less cute. I had no idea that I have been believing a lie that has subconsciously fueled my desire for control. I’ve been exchanging an illusion for a priceless gift. If I’m honest, there truly is part of me that’s afraid to jump in the back seat and go to sleep – literally and figuratively. Surely if I’m not awake, alert, and ready to intervene, bad things will happen. Surely God cannot be trusted in my rest. I’ve got to do my part, show up, perform well, and do everything I can do to make it go well. No one really has to know that I’m deeply afraid that I’ll fail, or that He will fail me.

I’ve chosen to live a confessional life with the Lord. He doesn’t let me get away with much. Lately, I’ve sensed him highlighting my inner “Chicken Little” moments. I’m learning to take more deep breaths, to prioritize knowing Him so that I can trust Him. I’m learning what it means for me to be a backseat sleeper.

He’s not content without me accessing the full measure of rest that He paid for on the cross. We don’t earn rest, we receive it. God will not let us get by on appetizers for too long without reminding us that there is a whole feast that’s been prepaid and prepared to perfection.

Did you know that your ability to rest in God reveals a lot about your ability to trust in God?

I encourage you today to trust Jesus enough to check-in. Ask Him where you are at. Maybe like me He will reveal to you a deeper realm of rest that you didn’t even know was accessible or allowed. He doesn’t need your help or advice along your journey. All He really needs is your ‘yes’ and your rest.

Fruits & Roots

hayleeschierlingLeave a comment

To those who are being called into new assignments from the Lord, this word is for you!

“Do not be addicted to the fruits—be addicted to the roots.”

The Holy Spirit dropped something into my spirit today that I wanted to share for anyone who may need to hear this.

I heard Him say, “Don’t be addicted to the fruit—be addicted to the root.” I asked Him to expound on that and I instantly thought of Psalm 1:3, specifically in The Passion Translation:

“He will be standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God’s design, deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss, bearing fruit in every season of his life. He is never dry, never fainting, ever blessed, ever prosperous.”

As the Lord spoke these words to me, I felt a deep conviction that, as God expands our spheres of influence, and calls us into new and exciting things, He wants our focus not to be on the fruit of these new adventures, but on continuing to strengthen our root system in Him.

“Do not be addicted to the fruits—be addicted to the roots.”

“The fruits” that the Holy Spirit is referring to represent the visible results of what God is calling us into in this season – what is seen, celebrated, successful, and validated by others. But those things are not the goal of our obedience. If we are not careful, the fruit we are chasing after will become an idol, and we will neglect the very roots that produce fruitfulness.

“The roots” represent the unseen side of life with Christ where there is no applause, no public affirmations or accolades. It represents the hidden sacrifices of consecration, prioritizing time to listen to and align yourself with the Father’s will, a commitment to allowing the Holy Spirit to take you deeper, to confront sin and humbly follow where He leads when no one is looking. Time in the Word, listening to the Father, prioritizing rest, and obedient consecration are some of the roots from which our callings will produce fruit.

When an apple tree is planted, the blossoms and young fruit are stripped off the tree for the first three years so that, instead of the tree using most of its energy to produce fruit, it can develop a strong root system that can support a prosperous fruit tree in the future. After those three years, it’s often necessary to thin the fruit growth for a while so that it doesn’t produce a million tiny apples that don’t taste very good, but instead grows a sustainable number of apples that have the ability to grow large and delicious.

We can easily become addicted to the fruit (the results) of our faithfulness, but God is inviting us to let go of control. He is redirecting our hearts to a humbler and freer posture. The fruit of our lives is not our goal or reward – Jesus is our great reward. We are released from the pressure of producing fruit, and are being redirected to sinking our roots deeper than they’ve ever gone in Him.  

If you are finding yourself anxious over the results of what God is calling you into, if you are obsessing over the approval of those around you, if perfectionism is becoming an idol, then you are invited to lay it down once again. Ground yourself in His presence, hide yourself in His approval, commit yourself to giving God the best of you in secret places and let the fruit of your labor become peripheral. He is our goal, our prize, the joy set before us, and our great reward!

Keep stepping out in faithful obedience! Be addicted to rooting yourself beside the streams of his Word and presence so that you will prosper!